The Goofy Game of Golf Searching for the Answer

The golf world has been dominated by two stories. Rory’s walk off and the tour saying it is against the belly and long putter ban. This little story I am about to tell will show when it is appropriate to walk off the course, and just how important the rules are. Back in the 80’s I played once a week, at South Park, with these retirees that were a little older than I am now. Every Friday we would tee off at the crack of dawn, and would walk the course in about 3 and a half hours. They would have a foursome on Monday through Thursday, but one of them would play with someone else on Friday, so I could join the group. I will call the three, Tom, Dick and Harry. One day when we approached the 5th tee, Harry kept on walking toward the woods, but then about half way there turned around abruptly and said ” Well I guess I didn’t make it”. As it turned out poor Harry had shit his pants. It was far more than a spray job, as the brown stain was growing rapidly in the back of his light green pants. The first thing that crossed my mind, is that South Park’s 6th hole goes right up to the clubhouse. Harry lived only about 5 minutes from the golf course. I thought after the 6th hole, he would go home clean up, and be able to easily make it to 10 to join us on the back nine. Harry was the only one to par the 6th hole and he went right up to the 7th tee and rifled a nice drive right down the middle, about his usual 230 yards out and continued on his merry way. Yes, he played 14 holes wirh a pants full. Yes he did stink. Anything within 5 foot of the cup he did not have to putt and we all stayed up wind as much as possible. The story does not end there. About 4 weeks later I show up to play as usual, just in time to tee off at 5:40am, when instead of Harry, Steve is playing with us. Even though I rushed up to the tee, I could see that Harry was there with some other guys waiting to tee off. When I asked “Why is Harry not playing with us”, I got a terse reply from Dick “Harry’s been banned from the group”. I figured maybe they just wanted to take their time on the pants shitting episode, since he had played with us the previous 3 weeks. After a few more steps I thought what the hell and asked why. Three days ago on the 18th hole he hit Tom’s ball in the fairway by mistake. Does this sum up golf or what. Its ok to play 14 holes with a pants full, but don’t get careless and hit the wrong ball on the last hole. Life time banishment from the group. Harry never played with them again. Rules are rules, but you must play the game  no matter what. So lets hope if this ever happens on the Senior Tour, that a player won’t be given any grief if he walks off the course with a pants full. Looks like I might have a good shot at playing some golf next week, see you then. 

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4 Responses to The Goofy Game of Golf Searching for the Answer

  1. Brian Penn says:

    Simply awesome, thanks!

  2. cooper07 says:

    Great stuff

  3. WOW, tough crowd!

    Cheers
    Jim

  4. Sounds like to older gents who allowed me to join them at Haines Point in D.C.
    They taught me what real gambling was, too. Great story….wow.

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